The Color of Royalty

January 10, 2010

I have a theory.  Little kids do not like the color purple.   Grape was always the least favorite flavor of juice on the playground yet comprised 90% of the cafeterias’ stock. I’ve pulled pigtails for strawberry.

Much like how my distaste for onions have changed (I’ve had stinky breath as of late 2007), my hatred for the color purple has turned to love. This is a rather surprising and new development since it all started a couple months ago with a particularly pretty shade of eyeshadow.  When it doesn’t make me look bruised and battered, it’s actually quite flattering.

Of course the shade of purple has to be just right.  I want the rich velvety royal purple.  A purple that says BAM, I’m here, I’m queer and undisputed.  Not lavender or blueish violet that has one foot in and one foot sneaking out the door to sleep with blue.  And especially not the noncommittal “eggplant” (gross), which looks nothing like the veggie, a black-purple which is actually somewhat acceptable and quite delicious.

In my opinion, purple should only be allowed to mix with the light and dark of the color spectrum.  Purple graduating onto pink is nice and fresh (I might do that against H2B’s wishes – he considers himself too macho for pink but does not realize purple is just a less diluted pink).  The true color of eggplants around the world is also okay, but better for a funeral.  None of this reddish purple business.  It’s for the commitment-phobics of the color world.

Here are two pillows I saved from a recent garage sale we had.  It’s quickly risen to the heights of being a “decoration pillow” on my bed.  *shock, abhor* I know, I know — the concept of nonfunctional throw-pillows used to escape me but I suppose it’s one of the many oddities of domestic life that pounces when you least expect it.  Plus I actually use mine so they are not confined to being “pretty but useless” like how most men like their women (just kidding… for some of you).  For example, I’m leaning on one and the laptop is sat atop the other.  And when I am done with them, they will once again be pretty on my bed.

I digress.  The point is this is a good purple.

Back on the grape-juice theme, I asked H2B what his favorite flavor was as a child.  He said red.  Not strawberry or cherry — but red.

At least my theory stands.


6 Responses to “The Color of Royalty”

  1. Jessica Says:

    I used to love red and strawberry icecream. But I still relate purple to Barney and still, am not the biggest fan of purple. I’ve become more open to it and have a few purple shirts (2, I think), but definitely not the pastel-ish purples.

    I thought eggplant was a dark purple, no? I’m not sure, once people step away from the standard color names, I get a little confused, haha.

    I like the plastic NFL cup in your decorative pillow pic, lol.

  2. alice Says:

    I think children’s cold medicines killed all my possible joy for cherry or grape flavored candies/treats, with the exception of Asian candies (they’re bomb).

    I went through a weird phase the summer of 1999 of being obsessed with lavender.

    Btw, saying purple is a different shade of pink is like saying red is a dark pink! Or that black is a dark shade of gray.

  3. priscilla Says:

    c’mon jane! we all learn in school that purple is a mix of red and blue. different shade of pink…pfff.

    • Ha, I knew someone was going to call me out on this. Well lucky for you I actually thought it out as I was writing ;P. Purple isn’t a primary color, but primary colors are pretty limited (to 3). Given the option of secondary colors, one should stick to the equal proportion of the primary color mix. Not mostly blue and a little red, or vice versa.

      About the pink. That was mostly a stab at H2B because he’s not as well versed in color theory as the rest of you. Nonetheless, if you dilute purple (red and blue) with white (which is technically all the colors mixed together), you do end up with a shade of pink (traditionally red and white). Ha!

  4. monica Says:

    I’ve always loved purple. Grape is the best artificial flavoring since banana. If you don’t like banana, you have to try banana italian ice from Brooklyn. Also, deep purple looks best with hot pink or light yellow. Try the combos!

    Poor shafted eggplant…it’s an admirable vegetable! I salute you, eggplant.

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