H2B’s Wedding Gown Nightmare

February 8, 2010

One day not long ago, I woke up to H2B grinding his teeth in his sleep.  I poked him with my talon elbow and woke him from a groom’s worst nightmare.  It’s similar to the dream where you are on stage and forgot your lines and you’re stark naked.  Except he was dreaming about me.

Apparently all this talk of wedding dress shopping and too many force-fed episodes of Say Yes To The Dress has got his sub-conscience spinning.  He dreamt that I found the dress I am determined to wear down the aisle.  The front was satin and billowy.  The back was made of white leather straps and baring my ass.

Allow him to illustrate for you.

H2B is no artist, but he drew the dress above and I filled in the body (as well as the butt cheeks).  In the nightmare, he told me he could see my ass.  I insisted the dress was just a bit big and tightened the straps on my back, thereby constricting my love handles and exposing the butt even more.

Upon awakening, I assured him I can get this dress made  in China according to these sketches.


One Response to “H2B’s Wedding Gown Nightmare”

  1. Jessica Says:


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