The Wedding Band Controversy

February 25, 2010

In all likelihood, I will not be getting a wedding band for the ceremony.  The reasons for this are twofold.   First, I am not a fan of the idea of wearing two rings on one finger.  Before I knew it was custom, it sounded tacky.   After I found out it’s custom, it sounds plain uncomfortable.  I know there are services where you can solder your rings together so they are one, but that sounds even worse.  There is no way I want to mess up my gorgeous engagement ring by melding it with another.  Not happening.

Second, my ring was bought without a wedding band and it will take great lengths (and costs) to find a band for it.  The designer, Jill Ze, is retailed on the east coast.  I won’t be back for awhile.  Otherwise, because of the way my engagement ring is shaped (the side diamonds are graduated), most wedding bands don’t fit well.  A reminder of how my ring looks.

H2B and I went perusing luxury jewelry stores while killing time.  We stopped by Cartier, Tiffany, etc.  He does need a wedding band too and H2B is very particular about the style.  No bling, some design, thick (6mm), and platinum.  Mine is only 18k!  Needless to say, we didn’t find anything within our range for him.

We didn’t find anything for me either.  The closest we could find was this.

It’s Tiffany and $3,000.  Of course.  Even then it doesn’t go together quite right.

MoH is of the opinion I should get a band anyway, even a simple gold band with no embellishments.  It’s important to show others that I am married and keeps with tradition.  I agree that I don’t want to be flaunting my “engaged” status after I am married, but will people really be eyeing my finger for a second band?  When I go on interviews, my interviewers always assume I am married already, probably because of the bling.  I confess I hardly ever look at a persons finger.  Before getting engaged, I never did.  Now I do on occasion to check out if her ring is prettier than mine ;).

Anyway, it is not that important to me whether a stranger thinks I am unmarried.  My parents both don’t wear wedding rings.  Never did.  I don’t want to get a plain wedding band I won’t even enjoy just for the sake of tradition/having it.  I love my engagement ring and much prefer to wear it all the time.  Alone.  Perhaps in the distant future, one day when I can afford a custom diamond wedding band, I will get one.  At the moment it’s just not cost efficient and I don’t really want one.

I’ll let H2B borrow my ring back for the ceremony.  What’s so wrong with that?  Not like anyone can really see what’s going on.

I suppose the right person to ask is H2B.  So, H2B, if you are reading this instead of doing pushups, please weigh in.  Married/engaged friends, what is your opinion?  Am I totally bonkers?

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3 Responses to “The Wedding Band Controversy”

  1. Jessica Says:

    Well, you already know my take! Anyway, the older I get, the more often I find myself glancing at someone’s hand to see if they’re married or not (both males and females, actually).

  2. Liz Says:

    I don’t think you’re bonkers. Another option: wear your engagement ring on your right hand, and a wedding band on the left.

  3. M2B Says:

    Jane, as you know, I only wear one wedding ring and am very happy with that arrangement. No one has ever asked if I was married or just engaged. Of course that could be due to my age…..


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