Skipping the Middleman

February 15, 2010

Remember my post a Discussion on Dresses?  Yeap.  I did it.   I got a dress custom made straight from the motherland.  H2B — don’t read this, pictures are following.

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One day not long ago, I woke up to H2B grinding his teeth in his sleep.  I poked him with my talon elbow and woke him from a groom’s worst nightmare.  It’s similar to the dream where you are on stage and forgot your lines and you’re stark naked.  Except he was dreaming about me.

Apparently all this talk of wedding dress shopping and too many force-fed episodes of Say Yes To The Dress has got his sub-conscience spinning.  He dreamt that I found the dress I am determined to wear down the aisle.  The front was satin and billowy.  The back was made of white leather straps and baring my ass.

Allow him to illustrate for you.

H2B is no artist, but he drew the dress above and I filled in the body (as well as the butt cheeks).  In the nightmare, he told me he could see my ass.  I insisted the dress was just a bit big and tightened the straps on my back, thereby constricting my love handles and exposing the butt even more.

Upon awakening, I assured him I can get this dress made  in China according to these sketches.

A Discussion on Dresses

February 1, 2010

Last week I went to Alfred Angelo, a chain that is similar to David’s Bridal, budget-conscious and mass-marketed.  By “budget,” I mean more dresses under $1,000 than not.  After leaving the store, it occurred to me.  This is ridiculous for something you wear one time.  (Whilst in the store, there is so much white noise from the sales associate and oohing and ahhing there is no room for reason).  Back in reality, I can find many things I’d rather do with that money.

Things I’d rather do with $1,000.

  • Fly to Germany, take a train to switzerland and go snowboarding on the Alps
  • Fly to China (and buy a dress there at cost)
  • Eat really well for a month and do yoga classes
  • Shop every weekend for a month and wear new clothes every day
  • Wear those clothes again *gasp*
  • Spa day for all my girlfriends
  • An awesome weekend in Vegas.  Possibly returning with more than $1,000
  • Buy 1,000 mega million tickets

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Alfred Angelo

January 27, 2010

H2B promised not to look at any of these pictures.  H2B, if you are reading this your pants will spontaneously burst into flames.

He said he doesn’t want to see me in a wedding dress until The Day, but I have to post these for you.  I wouldn’t mind if he came dress shopping with me, but he’s a little old fashioned.  I asked for his evaluation so I can pick something we both like.  This is all he has to say on the topic.  “Fitted on the top, a little poof on the front, a big poof on the back, but not so big I can’t stand next to you.”

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Bridal Dress Grab

January 19, 2010

As I was lamenting over the price of wedding dresses these days, my friend asked me “why don’t you go to a bridal dress grab?”  It’s a sample sale where dresses that are used as floor samples at bridal boutiques are liquidated en mass.  According to this article by Lei Lydle of, all the dresses, designer brands more often than not, are priced uniformly at $249.  And they are up for grabs to the fastest, most vigilant of brides.

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The Wedding Dress Conundrum

January 18, 2010

The traditional wedding dress is gorgeous and probably the most flattering for my shape. As a little girl, I’ve always dreamed of a full skirt, lots of tulle and a long train. I would’ve given up all my toys and even a toe to be a princess in a big dress. For what are the use of toes when you have a big skirt? Balance is not a significant factor as long as you have the big and little toe. The ones in between are just filler.

Judging by my snowboarding skillz — I may as well be the toeless wonder.

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I have to say the most exciting thing about a wedding is the dress.  Every little girl has dreamed about being a princess, and every big girl wants to one day be the most beautiful bride.  The dress (possibly next to the ring) is the most important aspect of becoming the princess bride.

Dream Dress.

Since I received my first bridal magazine a week ago (creatively called the Bridal Guide), I’ve been pouring over the dresses and styles.  My wedding will be a formal one so a full length gown is the way to go.

My favorite on paper was by far the mermaid style, with a fitted bodice, a fitted butt, and a long train.  The models look so glamorous – I love that the gown shows off their shape beautifully beneath the fabric.  That’s what I want.   It’s my wedding day and I want to strut my stuff!

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